Warning: This is a pretty personal post that has nothing to do with health or fitness or Disney.
I currently have 5+ friends and family members who are either pregnant or had a baby within the last two months. This, like any other time when I see people changing around me, has started some thinking. From the time that I was about 14 the thought has been that I do not want to have children. And, since childhood I knew that I did not want to birth a child. All of my baby dolls (I had many) were, actually, all adopted and I would have told anyone if they had asked. It is not that I dislike children or think them unimportant or hate the idea of childbirth- really, it is quite the opposite.
Having a child that you must cultivate into a caring human being that gives back to our world is a large task and one that I am not quite sure I am cut-out for. My personal goal has always been to help as many children and as many animals as possible all around the world. As far as the childbirth goes, I do not know where the love of adoption came from but the idea of having a child when so many others are without homes and parents never really sat right with me.
There have been a great many articles and news reports from bloggers, magazines, and news stations about women who do not want to raise families. Since the 70's, the number of women who do not have children has doubled. This could partially be because of infertility, but it also has a lot to do with women and families making new choices that were not always available to them. Now, we can decide what age, job position, home, and income we want to be before starting a family
When I was younger I thought, "maybe in about ten years, when I have done enough good in the world and am ready to settle down, we can look into adoption." Now, six years later, I am still saying maybe in ten years and have even thought of ten plus years from now. Funny, but when people ask my husband and I about when we are having children and we say, "maybe in ten years," the responses are always different and almost always odd. My Dad is totally fine with it and thinks if we have them we should wait a long long time while my Mom cried when I told her I did not want children. Most people, however, look at me like I have three eyes or say something like, "well you will change your mind when you get older." That is the most hated response. To anything. From anyone. Ever.
For my husband, the most difficult part of the not having kids deal is the idea that we are selfish because we are not having children. That is not the case. In fact, we both feel like we can do more good for more people without children at this stage of our life. This article from Cup of Jo got me thinking about the whole selfish bit and the idea of feeling we can pass judgment on someone for their choices. It is common for a person to be asked why they would not want children, but almost rude to ask someone why they would. Personally, they both seem like interesting questions that could get us to learn a bit more about each other.
The decision to have children is a pretty big deal, as one Cup of Jo writer put it, "There are three positions people should probably feel a calling for: any sort of religious leadership, teaching or childrearing." This so well sums up the importance of such a simple decision that can so often be overlooked. With that in mind, what are your views on having children? Do you have children or want them in the future? Why or why not? I would love to hear your thoughts either personally or publicly.
Side note, this picture is the first time I met my two cousins who have always been more like sisters to me. As of next Saturday, the one holding me will have officially introduced me to Barry's fitness. Cannot wait!!!